Kegger

 

“That Guy.” You know the one. If you’ve ever been to a concert or public event, then you’ve seen him. If you’ve ever visited the Comments section of your favorite website, then you’ve dealt with him. He’s the one whose mission in life seems to be nothing more than acting the fool, and ruining the good times of every living creature he encounters.

Well, that guy has a name.

His name is Kegger Strout.

Kegger Strout has reached a crucial moment in his forty-three-year life. His favorite band of all time, MurderRise, has reunited and is headlining at the largest heavy metal Open Air festival in the country. Kegger knows that if he can only meet his heroes, they will fall in love with him and all his ideas (ideas that no one ever gives him the chance to express). Yet, he cannot afford the cost of the backstage pass, as his parents have cut him off, and are threatening to evict him from the basement.

Kegger needs a miracle, and it comes in the form of a genuine God of Rock and Metal, Krinkle von Krinkleson, who happens to read his online plea, and breaks into his home to aid him. Together, they leave the sanctuary of the basement behind, venturing out into a world that Kegger fears and despises: Suburbia. They are beset on all sides by enemies, including his own parents, a pot dealer, school children, and an infected, talking psoriasis patch that resembles a certain Oscar-winning actor. Will Kegger get it together enough to come up with the cash? Or, will the terrors of the real world defeat him?

 

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